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Recently I was challenged by someone I know vaguely, who is a stalwart of the local parish church. “You don’t believe that there is a God, do you?” she said. I could tell by the manner of her question that she thought she was setting me up for something. Oh well, I thought to myself. Here goes. “No, I don’t.” I replied.
“So, if you don’t believe that there is a God, what is the point of your worship?” She sure thought she had me there.
It is a common misconception. And it is a misconception with a long history.
It is certainly the case that many people conceive of God as some sort of actual being. A being which exists in the usual understanding of that word. A being which thinks and acts and has emotions and makes decisions. A being, in other words, just like us, only more so than we could ever imagine. In other words, God having created man in his own image, man has been returning the compliment ever since. God, in this literalist realist understanding, is just like a person, presiding in his heaven, but taking an interest in what is going on on earth, grieving when we mess up, delighting when we get it right.
If that is the image you have of God, then the metaphor of God as King is a suitable one. King of Kings, in fact. With absolute power. Of course people would have to be fearful of you. You could have their head off if it took your fancy. Clap them in irons. Inflict things upon them. Why, of course people would have to do everything they could to make you happy, curry favour, keep you on their side. They would tell you how wise and clever and discerning you were, no matter how irrational your decisions or calamitous your actions. They would bring you gifts. Bestow honour and titles upon you. Everyone would be scared of you. Everyone would want to appease you. Consider the disaster in modern times when a king, or a political leader, assumes such absolute power that craven sycophancy is the only tactic for survival by courtiers and advisors. Robert Mugabe springs to mind.
What would be the point of being a King if your subjects never took any notice? If you just sat on your throne, being kingly, and nobody paid attention. What if you had all that power, as in the good old days when being a king really meant something, and you could throw your weight around and get your own way, but people were not just a little fearful of you? Or if you went for a walkabout in the street, and people hardly gave you a second glance.
No, if you are going to be King, people had better sit up and take notice. They had better pay their dues of servitude and loyalty.
As with earthly Kings, so too with celestial ones. And if your image of God is as a celestial King, with unlimited power to determine the course of your life, a jealous and tyrannical monarch who wants to be kind and loving, but who is just as likely to strike you down if he thinks you are stepping out of line, then you are going to do what it takes to appease him.
And worship is therefore an act of sycophantic appeasement. So, worship can be a bit like this. It starts with flattery. God, you are wonderful. Fantastic. Look at all the great things you have done. We love you, God. Three cheers for God. And God, being like us and therefore vain and proud and endlessly susceptible to such fawning, falls for it. And when we have made sure that God is well and truly buttered up, when God has taken the roll call and knows that we have been in church and therefore what loyal and devoted subjects we are and how we should be rewarded for our loyalty, well then we can get to what we really came for. We can ask for stuff.
I realise I am being rather Richard Dawkinsish in caricaturising God and worship in such disparaging and mocking terms. But, as far as I can tell, that is a fairly accurate summary of worship in many people’s minds. Keeping God happy. Keeping him onside. Worship, in this understanding of the word, is a transitive verb. It is a verb which needs an object. You worship something. Worship as adoration. Worship as propitiation. Worship as intercession.
But, it will perhaps not surprise you, that is not my understanding of God, and therefore not my understanding of what worship is.
My interlocutor was correct. I do not believe in God, if believing in God means believing that there is a God, real but somewhere and somehow outside of normal existence. I do not believe that God exists. And a god which does not exist does not need to be kept happy by my telling him how great and powerful and wonderful he is.
One of the curses of being a minister is that when people find out what I do, often they feel the need to justify to me why they don't go to church. Of course, I believe in God, they say earnestly, but I don't go to church. And if I am feeling mischievous I reply, How interesting. You believe in God and don't go to church. And I go to church, but don't believe in God.
So what on earth am I doing, worshipping?
For me, worship is not a transitive verb. Worship does not require an object to be grammatically correct. In fact, quite the opposite. Worship with an object has ceased to be worship in its pure and proper sense.
Worship is the act of reminding myself of values the world would otherwise make me forget. Worship is the act of spiritual discipline which, at its best and when it is most effective, keeps my soul healthy and alive. Keeping a soul healthy and alive requires work and attention. It does not just happen. Like other aspects of ourselves, if we want to be able to do something, we have to practise. We might have the potential to do something, but we have to practise.
Long, long ago, in the early 1980s, I ran a marathon. When I had finished, I swore I would never do one again. So, two years later, I did. In order to run those two marathons, I had to do a lot of training. Most weeks, I was running 50 miles or so. I got pretty fit. I could never have completed the marathons if I had not done that training beforehand. I could not expect my body to respond to that challenge without having prepared it.
I might have the potential to be a musician. But I can’t just pick up an instrument and start playing. First, I have to practise.
I might have the potential to speak another language. But I will not be able to do that unless I put in the time to study and practise.
I might have the potential to be spiritually alive and healthy, but I won’t be unless I do the work, unless I keep reminding myself of the values and ideals which will make me so, unless I hold myself accountable.
If you don’t want to run a marathon, that’s fine. If you don’t want to play a musical instrument, that’s fine. If you don’t want to speak another language, that’s fine too. If you don’t want to be spiritually alive, even that is fine. But then don’t be surprised, if you are suddenly called upon to run a long distance, or you are asked to play music, or you are stranded in another country and you are found wanting. And don’t be surprised if life suddenly challenges you and you do not have the spiritual resources to cope. Don’t be surprised if you discover your soul is cramped and undeveloped.
I want to worship because, for me, it is the act of growing my soul. It is the practice of keeping myself in touch with the way I want to live. As I feel my body growing flabby if I do not exercise it, and I do not like that feeling, so I feel my soul growing flabby if I do not exercise it by holding it accountable to the highest that I know, if I do not reacquaint myself with that which is holy and divine.
Part of that worship is intellectual. It is the formulation of beliefs which can make sense, which help me to explain the world and my place in it. Part of that worship is emotional. It is giving voice and vent to my fear or anger or joy of love. And part of that worship is aesthetic. It is the experience of beauty, in the world of nature or the world of human creativity. And part of that worship is the relational. It is the sharing of those private things in the company of others. Hence, here now with you, and not alone elsewhere.
I invite you
to consider what worship is for you. Is it a transitive verb? Are you
paying homage to a something or a someone? Or is it intransitive? Are
you placing yourself in the company of the holy, keeping your soul healthy
and aware and alive?